


Notlügen

by ConstantCacoethes (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Modern Era, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-05 22:59:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ConstantCacoethes
Summary: "I'm glad," Eren croaks out, pulling away with tears in his eyes. He stares at Levi for a moment, never taking his hands off his shoulders, before he continues. "I'm glad you were all okay."It's Levi's turn to swallow, now. He pushes Eren against the bed, holds himself above him, before he leans down for a kiss. "Me too, brat."





	Notlügen

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Morning Light](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3192971) by [bfketh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bfketh/pseuds/bfketh). 



> Warning: Mention of suicide, mention of drinking

"Levi," Eren says, meekly. "Can I ask you something?"

Levi opens his mouth to respond, fails, and decides instead to focus on catching his breath and staring at the brat before him. Eren's  _beautiful_ , always is, but there's something about seeing him all taken apart that makes Levi's heart beat even faster. He leans his head against Eren's then, unable to look him in the eyes, because he's scared of what he'll see, what he'll say, because his feelings feel like they'll burst out of him any second.

"What is it, brat?"

His voice sounds foreign to him, low and hoarse, and he doesn't know if it's from fatigue or how fucking _in love_ he is. Eren's arms wrap around Levi tighter, the younger one pressing a kiss to his lips, burying his face in Levi's shoulder. He's trembling, that much Levi can tell; he thinks that maybe, Eren's feeling just as vulnerable as he is, just as overwhelmed, and the thought makes his heart ache even more.

"What happened?" Eren finally says.

Levi's eyebrows furrow. "What do you mean?"

"After..." Eren swallows, "After we killed them."

 _Oh_.

Levi knows what he means, that he means to ask what happened after _Levi_ killed _him_ , is grateful he doesn't phrase it that way. It's a sore spot of his, after all; what sane person would enjoy not only taking an innocent person's life, but also killing the person they loved the most?

"What do you think happened?" Levi says, a sad smile on his lips. He holds Eren tighter then, scared of what he's going to say, but doesn't know how else to say it. But he knows it's what he wants to hear, what'd make him the happiest, so he says it anyways.

"It's not like the world stopped spinning or something."

And as far as Levi knows, that's true. The world  _didn't_ stop spinning, people kept living their lives, and the Scouts kept documenting their newly claimed territory. But he lies, in a way, lies because he didn't live more than a day after he took Eren's life, he _couldn_ _'t_ live that long, couldn't live with Isabel's and Furlan's and Petra's and Oluo's and Gunther's and Eld's and Eren's and...

He's brought too many people to their death.

In fact, he didn't just lead Eren to his, he  _was_ the one that killed him. He was the one that brought his blade to the boy's neck, the one that pulled the brat's chin back to ensure he got a clean cut, the one who held Eren while he bled out in his arms. He couldn't  _live_ like that, couldn't live knowing that he'd been the one who took the spark from the boy's eyes, so he didn't.

That's right.

_I killed myself, Eren._

And Levi had never gotten drunk before that night, never drank enough to, because he's  _seen_ what drunk men can do, which is why he chose to spend his last night with the finest bottle of wine he could find. He was given it by Historia, in fact, after the battle of Shiganshina, but simply hadn't seen a use for it.

The day he learned he was capable of killing the love of his life, he also learned that alcohol was a great way to motivate yourself to slit your wrists.

 _It's amazing,_ he thinks,  _how easy it was._

And thank God Levi only remembered his first life after he touched Eren for the first time, because if he had gone thirty years looking for the guy, he probably would've ended it twice. Yet here he is, in his victim's arms; and if Levi were being honest, he's never been happier.

Living a normal life does that to you.

He has a family in this life, his mom isn't a whore, his dad isn't her customer, and his uncle isn't a killer. He's not a soldier, will never  _be_ one again, refuses to go through that Hell twice, and no one here has ever heard titans.

And to top it all off, he has Eren.

"I'm glad," Eren croaks out, pulling away with tears in his eyes. He stares at Levi for a moment, never taking his hands off his shoulders, before he continues. "I'm glad you were all okay."

It's Levi's turn to swallow, now. He pushes Eren against the bed, holds himself above him, before he leans down for a kiss. "Me too, brat."

 


End file.
